My brain says no but my pants say off.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
