I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
