Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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