Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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