yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
