addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
