Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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