Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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