I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
