It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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