so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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