we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
