I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
