I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
