hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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