If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
