would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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