i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just invented taco cereal.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
