Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
