shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
