does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
