I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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