just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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