It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
