laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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