I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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