Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
