I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
where are my eyebrows?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
