Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
