The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
