it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
