just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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