totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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