Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
