if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
