Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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