I wanna bring you to show and tell
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
