don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
