Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Rumble strips road head = magical
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
