i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
