You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
