oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
