the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think people are normalizing furries
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
