i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
