I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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