Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
