you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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