Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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