i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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