Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
