I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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